Okay

I know that writing my morning pages encourages creativity and helps with my stress level and yet, I have been having a hard time writing them recently.  Half of my brain revolves around worry about what will happen at work, to allergies, taxes, bills, the news, to exhaustion, to wondering how I have managed to get to this place and shape in the process of busyness.  The other half of my brain is in an almost frenzy of wanting to photograph every minute of my waking day, but I can’t – because of all the reasons above.  I’m going to take myself out and about both days over the weekend, beyond my usual radius, to photograph and explore.

Sameness

After a couch nap and nine hours of solid sleep, waking up naturally, I am excited about a day without work and going on an adventure.  Breaking from my sameness routine, I’m going to a new area to do errands, take my dog for a walk and take photos.   Then we are going out to dinner at a new place.  Sometimes a little shake-up from routine can mean the world.  Of course I am just planning this now and who knows how it will turn out.  It’s still cold and windy and there’s a lot to do on the home front this weekend.  I was mindful yesterday of being on time and present at work, so that made that better.  Structure and routine can be good, but if that’s all there is to one’s life, not leaving room for spontaneity or creativity, it really does dampen the soul.

More Snow

I had deluded myself to thinking that the cold and snow were a thing of the past, but not so. Yesterday I heard that someone I work with and care about a great deal was ‘let go’ in a barbaric fashion. It brought up this whole feeling of everyone is disposable and who to trust. I live in a naive little world, so I get badly shaken when the world doesn’t fit into my vision. Speaking of vision, I have been letting my photography effect my job. I’ve barely made it there on time lately and care more about my craft than my job. It’s nice to feel that way, in a way, but in these times one needs to be overly dedicated apparently to keep one’s job. Oh money woes, bad news every day – no wonder I’m happier naive and being creative.

Overcoming

Yesterday was a crazy day at work, as predicted, so I spent some time beforehand taking photos and eeked out some time after the lunch meeting to take more.  Much to my surprise, I had more photos to post than ever before.  Today, it’s pouring rain and I have a lunch date.  Curious to see if these obstacles will prevent my now cherished time to see.

Blog, blog, blog

I get sucked into the blogosphere and almost forget to post my morning pages. Not much sleep last night and off to work again. I did bake – rather maniacally – yesterday. No need to buy bread for weeks now. I walked, talked, met new people, took photos (hard to do around new people met in parks). Even with three days off, I barely scratched the surface of my to do list. That would be okay, because I had a lot of good times, but not okay, because now I have to do all the stuff I avoided at night after work.

Errands

Because I took Saturday off, I had many errands to run yesterday.  After four hours of racing to various stores, bank etc, I was utterly and totally exhausted.  Home to make a rather elaborate dinner and required family phone calls and then I could only melt into the couch to veg out in front of the tv.  My dog had only a short walk, I stole only a few minutes for photographing.  There’s got to be a better way.  I will try to make today better, by concentrating equally on what still has to be done and what I still want and need to do to save this day off.

Making Time

I was determined to incorporate some creative me time yesterday and it worked.  Eventually, my energy came back after spending some time at lunch photographing, taking a long hot shower at night and then crocheting.  Lesson learned, but not always given the attention it deserves.  Going to try to do the same today.  One day at a time.

Night & Day

The difference between a busy day at work and an okay weekend day is so dramatic.  I still haven’t recovered from yesterday and barely remember the days before.  The meetings, the feuds, the crazy vagueness, going, going, going.  Bleh.  Even my few minutes at lunch to take pictures didn’t work out and that has been my saving grace during the week lately.  Complain, complain.  That said – today is another day and I will try to look forward to what the day may bring.

Walking

After 2 months of snow & ice, I was able to go for a real walk – as in fast & some distance yesterday.  It’s amazing how quickly one gets out of shape.  I’ve been out every day photographing, but not really walking.  Now to do both since it’s supposed to be above freezing all week.  Step by step trying to find balance.  In the meantime, back to work today and it will be a day of meetings.

Banks & Wall Street

It’s been a week of news of the misuse of bail out funds, while two of said banks have tried to screw me over for no sensible reason. That, causing financial stress, coupled with the vague to be determined work stress, in the context of the winter that just doesn’t seem to want to end is getting to me so badly. Need to find some solutions, answers and warmth.