More Snow

I had deluded myself to thinking that the cold and snow were a thing of the past, but not so. Yesterday I heard that someone I work with and care about a great deal was ‘let go’ in a barbaric fashion. It brought up this whole feeling of everyone is disposable and who to trust. I live in a naive little world, so I get badly shaken when the world doesn’t fit into my vision. Speaking of vision, I have been letting my photography effect my job. I’ve barely made it there on time lately and care more about my craft than my job. It’s nice to feel that way, in a way, but in these times one needs to be overly dedicated apparently to keep one’s job. Oh money woes, bad news every day – no wonder I’m happier naive and being creative.

New Spot

I found a new spot yesterday, to walk with or without my dog. A new place to photograph, a new place to find quietude in the midst of a crowded city. This makes me happy. The snow is melting, a three day weekend is coming up and that too makes me happy.

Gnawing

The big meeting is this afternoon and I have a gnawing feeling in my gut. I hope it’s unfounded. We’ll see. Meanwhile, another struggle with the ice & cold and need to go on a news fast – too much stuff getting to me.

Snow Covered Blues

It just keeps snowing and I just keep hearing bad news. My bills are all going up, my salary is not. It seems like there is this all over weird mood going on at work and in general. Trying, but failing, to not have all this stuff just get to me. Reading magazines about following dreams, extreme self care, paying attention and bleh to that too. Need to snap out of this or at least not let it all get to me so much.

More Snow

I called in sick yesterday, back to work today to more snow.  I think we have surpassed the four foot mark already.  Still not feeling well, yet it will be more shoveling today.  Heard some more bits of bad news – enough recently.

Shoveling Slop

Trying to figure out a metaphor for all of my time shoveling yesterday. Snow at home, snow at work, ice at work, ice and sloppy slush at home. While at work and not shoveling there, one person after another came to me with their problems (slop) and wanted me to fix (shovel) it up for them. Basically, after 10 hours of shoveling both kinds of slop, I was exhausted – plain pure exhaustion. Time to go deal with the ice today here and there and wondering if it will be a slippery day literally and figuratively at work as well.

Expectations

This has been the winter of snow. I hear a forecast and then go to sleep with my cell phone next to my bed. I wake up all cozy & warm, dial the snow emergency number, hoping for a snow day. But over & over I hear that today is a normal day of operations. Then I’m sad. Maybe I should just accept the fact that we don’t have snow days and that I do have to leave my cozy & warm bed to leave earlier than usual to shovel.

The Calm Before the Storm

Another snow storm is predicted for tomorrow. Bleh! This has been a rough winter. Re-framing…I’m grateful that I have been able to find somethings that are either beautiful or at least interesting every day even with the wretched weather. I’m grateful that I have been able to communicate with other photographers many miles away. Now if I could just find some boots, so that dealing with four feet of snow wouldn’t be so bad.

More Snow

MLK day, the day before the inauguration, a day off from work and all I can think about is all the snow.

Winter Gardening

I opened my blinds this morning to the first snow of the season, pondering why I have this need / desire to bake.  Perhaps baking is a form of winter gardening, a place to use all of my senses, be creative and warm.