Okay

I know that writing my morning pages encourages creativity and helps with my stress level and yet, I have been having a hard time writing them recently.  Half of my brain revolves around worry about what will happen at work, to allergies, taxes, bills, the news, to exhaustion, to wondering how I have managed to get to this place and shape in the process of busyness.  The other half of my brain is in an almost frenzy of wanting to photograph every minute of my waking day, but I can’t – because of all the reasons above.  I’m going to take myself out and about both days over the weekend, beyond my usual radius, to photograph and explore.

Coincidence?

I forgot to write morning pages on Tuesday and I bombed out on my photo time during lunch – just couldn’t find anything to photograph.  I remembered (barely) yesterday and ended up with more images than I felt comfortable posting.  I also attempted to close up a boundary that was being invaded, by just not responding to a person’s constant annoying calls. And then a call I’ve been waiting for for about a month came through with good news.  Are these things coincidences or not?  I’m posting early today, so I don’t forget and just in case these are not coincidences.

Sameness

After a couch nap and nine hours of solid sleep, waking up naturally, I am excited about a day without work and going on an adventure.  Breaking from my sameness routine, I’m going to a new area to do errands, take my dog for a walk and take photos.   Then we are going out to dinner at a new place.  Sometimes a little shake-up from routine can mean the world.  Of course I am just planning this now and who knows how it will turn out.  It’s still cold and windy and there’s a lot to do on the home front this weekend.  I was mindful yesterday of being on time and present at work, so that made that better.  Structure and routine can be good, but if that’s all there is to one’s life, not leaving room for spontaneity or creativity, it really does dampen the soul.

More Snow

I had deluded myself to thinking that the cold and snow were a thing of the past, but not so. Yesterday I heard that someone I work with and care about a great deal was ‘let go’ in a barbaric fashion. It brought up this whole feeling of everyone is disposable and who to trust. I live in a naive little world, so I get badly shaken when the world doesn’t fit into my vision. Speaking of vision, I have been letting my photography effect my job. I’ve barely made it there on time lately and care more about my craft than my job. It’s nice to feel that way, in a way, but in these times one needs to be overly dedicated apparently to keep one’s job. Oh money woes, bad news every day – no wonder I’m happier naive and being creative.

Overcoming

Yesterday was a crazy day at work, as predicted, so I spent some time beforehand taking photos and eeked out some time after the lunch meeting to take more.  Much to my surprise, I had more photos to post than ever before.  Today, it’s pouring rain and I have a lunch date.  Curious to see if these obstacles will prevent my now cherished time to see.

Three Days

After a very special party last night, I am looking at a three day weekend where it’s up to me to make it a nice balanced time including relaxation, recreation and refreshment.  My usual outlook is to do what to I have to do and then collapse in between, but no one makes me do that except myself.  I still wrote a to do list, but instead of all errands and chores, there are things like walk, knit, read on it.  Let’s see if this works.

Making Time

I was determined to incorporate some creative me time yesterday and it worked.  Eventually, my energy came back after spending some time at lunch photographing, taking a long hot shower at night and then crocheting.  Lesson learned, but not always given the attention it deserves.  Going to try to do the same today.  One day at a time.

Walking

After 2 months of snow & ice, I was able to go for a real walk – as in fast & some distance yesterday.  It’s amazing how quickly one gets out of shape.  I’ve been out every day photographing, but not really walking.  Now to do both since it’s supposed to be above freezing all week.  Step by step trying to find balance.  In the meantime, back to work today and it will be a day of meetings.

Feeling a bit better

My negativity was driving me nuts. I spent time with friends, watched a movie, took lots of photos, spent some time outside (without freezing), did some crocheting, made a decent dinner & feeling like life isn’t quite as bad. Today it will be warmer & I’m wrestling with going to my faith community vs. staying home and doing some of the many things that need to be done.

Vague

The meeting yesterday was full of vagueness and bs and work to do and time to wait before anything is clear.  I don’t know why people can’t just be upfront and clear when they want something.  Frigid weather, but I discovered another new place to photograph in my 10 minutes of free time yesterday.